Good quotes

For those times in life when you need to have a serious talk.

Good quotes

Postby starseedjenny » Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:48 am

For sharing awesome stuff other people have said.

“Dewey was wrong when he said that being noble enough is all we can ask for in this world, because we can ask for much more than that. We can ask for a second helping of pound cake, even though someone has made it quite clear that we will not get any. We can ask for a new watercolor set, even though it will be pointed out that we never used the old one, and that all of the paints dried into a crumbly mess. We can ask for Japanese fighting fish, to keep us company in our bedroom, and we can ask for a special camera that will allow us to take photographs even in the dark, for obvious reasons, and we can ask for an extra sugar cube in our coffees in the morning and an extra pillow in our beds at night. We can ask for justice, and we can ask for a handkerchief, and we can ask for cupcakes, and we can ask for all the soldiers in the world to lay down their weapons and join us in a rousing chorus of “Cry Me a River,” if that happens to be our favorite song. But we can also ask for something that we are much more likely to get, and that is to find a person or two, somewhere in our travels, who will tell us that we are noble enough, whether it is true or not. We can ask for someone who will say, You are noble enough, and remind us of our good qualities when we have forgotten them, or cast them into doubt.”
-Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket)
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G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


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Re: Good quotes

Postby mikekearn » Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:41 am

I love to collect quotes. Here are a few of my favorites:

"When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life." - Unknown*

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Groucho Marx

And a whole bunch by George Carlin, because he was perhaps the greatest comedian to ever live:
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"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, 'Well, okay, that's enough of that.'"

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."


*As best I can track, it originated on the web from the blog Little Miss. She does not provide a source. [insert grumpy face]
"I will not succumb to temptation, unless she's cute."

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Re: Good quotes

Postby starseedjenny » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:52 pm

Ohhhhh how I love Jack Handey
G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


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Re: Good quotes

Postby Colonel Munch » Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:08 pm

I quote movies and tv shows all the time. I'm a total douche like that.
A good one to break the silence is Blade Runner
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tan Hauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die."

And then everyone stares at your for fives minutes and walks away slowly. :(

Also, all futurama quotes rock
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Re: Good quotes

Postby Seamus O'Seamus » Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:44 pm

Colonel Munch wrote:Also, all futurama quotes rock

I can't even begin to list the best ones. :lol:

"Knowing what he knows and knowing what he doesn't know is characteristic of the man who knows."
Confucius said that. It's best without commas.

And whenever I want to unnerve my friends while playing Xbox, I start reciting Rorschach's speeches from Watchmen.
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Re: Good quotes

Postby 42th » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:26 pm

My name is 42th, and I approve of this product and/or service.

Fave quotes:
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"Don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you traveled." - Mohammed

"A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for." - William Shedd

"If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." - Mark Twain

"that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith." - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"If I got a paper cut, that’s a tragedy. If you fell down an open manhole and died, that's comedy." - Mel Brooks

"I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know." - Calvin

"Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in...But everytime I do, they tell me to stop it." - Calvin

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Preface of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

"We're all mad here." - Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

""If anything can go wrong, it will." - Murphy's Law

"Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." - Parkinson's law

"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account." - Hofstadter's Law

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." - Hanlon's razor

"We attach rockets to everything." - Acme Corporation motto

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" - some Frenchman

"You cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters." - some Frenchman


Seamus O'Seamus wrote:And whenever I want to unnerve my friends while playing Xbox, I start reciting Rorschach's speeches from Watchmen.

wow :? 8-) That's impressive.

mikekearn wrote:"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey

Jack Handey is awesome! That is all.
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Re: Good quotes

Postby Seamus O'Seamus » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:31 pm

42th wrote:
Seamus O'Seamus wrote:And whenever I want to unnerve my friends while playing Xbox, I start reciting Rorschach's speeches from Watchmen.

wow :? 8-) That's impressive.

Nothing stops them in their tracks quite like "Dead dog in alley today...".

"Gentleman, we must now hang together, or surely we shall hang seperately."
-Ben Franklin
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Re: Good quotes

Postby Camoninja » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:41 am

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Isaac Asimov

that one was in my sig for a while. There was also one from Clint Eastwood, but I can't remember it now
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Re: Good quotes

Postby starseedjenny » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:16 am

"Anyone remotely interesting is mad, in one way or the other."
-Doctor Who

"Sometimes you’ve just got to keep your chin up and hope for morning."
-Bear Grylls
G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


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Re: Good quotes

Postby mikekearn » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:01 am

Camoninja wrote:There was also one from Clint Eastwood, but I can't remember it now


"Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' And to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, PUNK?"


I doubt that is what it was, but it's certainly my favorite from him.
"I will not succumb to temptation, unless she's cute."

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