Writers' Café

For those times in life when you need to have a serious talk.

Writers' Café

Postby starseedjenny » Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:22 pm

Owen wrote:Welcome to the Writers' Café! Take a seat, take a seat. Please don't mind Mr Byron, he can be something of a character but he never stays for long.
Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, something a bit stronger? Thank you, I'll bring it over shortly. May I offer you a slice of prose to go with that?

Based on the fact that we have a few writers in here, and since there's already a Doodlin' thread, I thought it might be nice to have somewhere we could all gather. Post your stories, deviant-art profiles or helpful links below :)

I have a short story I'm working on for a competition which I'll post when it's done, but for now I'll leave it to someone else to start the ball rolling.
G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


N.W.A.R.S
User avatar
starseedjenny
Cyberdyne Systems Terminator, Model T-N014.
Batman
 
Posts: 6221
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:10 pm
Location: I'm the girl who's kicking the Coke machine
Gender: Dame

Re: Writers' Café

Postby Camoninja » Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:52 pm

Well, I made this a while ago for an old game thing on another site, I guess I could post it here...

DISCLAIMER- Some people may find this incredibly offensive, particularly in the Religious area, if you are easily offended, religiously or otherwise, DO NOT READ THIS
You have been warned

Spoiler:
Choose your own adventure!
1. You find yourself faced by a very angry looking bear. What do you do?
If you stand and fight, go to #2
If you turn and run, go to #3
If you call for help, go to #4

2. You tried to fight a bear, you foolish, foolish man. You are now dead, obviously.
Go to #5

3. You tried to outrun a bear, you foolish, foolish man. You are now dead, obviously.
Go to #5

4. You stood and yelled while faced by a bear, you foolish, foolish man. You are now dead, obviously.
Go to #5

5. You find yourself standing in front of the pearly gates, with Saint Peter standing at a podium on which there is a huge book. What do you do?
If you walk up to him coolly, confident that you have led a virtuous life and will get into heaven, go to #6
If you Throw yourself on your knees and beg for mercy because you think that you are a sinner, go to #6
If you walk up to Peter and start talking him down because you know that god doesn’t exist and this is probably a hallucination.
Go to #6

6. Saint Peter just laughs at you and says “sorry bud, you’re going to hell.” He presses a button, and you suddenly realize that you’re standing on a cloud. You fall thorough it to your doom. You fall into a huge flaming pit, somewhere in Turkmenistan. It was discovered by some guys a while back who were looking for natural gas reserves. They found a cavern full of natural gas, and decided to set it on fire. Little did they know that this was in fact the gateway to hell, and will never stop burning. It had been sealed a long time ago, but these guys uncovered it. Way to go, guys, you think.
Go to #7

7. You are now in a huge flaming cave, with millions of other people. Satan is there, standing on a huge stage, giving a speech. You catch the line “and if you remember doing this before, you were probably killed in hell before. Yes, you came right back here. I mean, where did you think you would go? Detroit?” What do you do?
If you call out, “hey, screw you, Satan!” Or something similarly offensive, go to #8
If you wait for him to finish the speech, go to #9

8. It makes no difference. Almost everyone is shouting out stuff like this, and it’s not as though you have a particularly powerful set of lungs.
Go to #9

9. You wait out the rest of the speech, then go with everyone else to the lava baths. What do you do?
If you try to get past without falling in, go to #10
If you try to push random people in, go to # 11
If you fall into the baths, go to #7

10. Someone pushes you in, despite your best efforts to avoid it.
Go to #7

11. After pushing several people to their re-doom, you make it past the lava pools. A voice says to you and the others there “congratulations! You have all proved yourselves to be total douchebags! Now on to the second test, you must listen to emo music for three days straight!” What do you do?
If you kill yourself to avoid this worst of torture, go to #7
If you cover your ears and sing loudly to avoid listening to it, go to #12
If you try to wait it out, go to #14

12. Satan stops by and sees you singing loudly. “Hey!” he says “That’s totally gay! Just like me! ‘Cause, you know, gayness is all unbiblical ‘n stuff.”
Go to #13

13. Satan takes you and ****** **** **** ****** ***** up your ***** *** without *** **** then ***** you ** hard *** ***** *** ** ***** orifice. *** ******* **** and **** *** are **** ******* *** ****** no stop. *** **** ** 28 inches *** *******. Then he ******** ***** *** ********** unto to death.
Go to #7

14. You try to wait it out, but pass out halfway through. You are now dead
Go to #7

15. “Congratulations, you have all proved yourselves to be colossal cheaters!” says the voice “now for the final challenge, you must face off against Satan! Remember to put those skills you just learned into practice!” What do you do?
If you cower in fear because you are being asked to goddamn fight fucking Satan, go to #13
If you headbutt him in the balls, go to #16

16. You hit Satan in the balls with your head, and are knocked out. “Wow,” says Satan, “that would have been a really douchey thing to do, but I have balls of steel.”
Go to #13

17. And so you defeat Satan, like the cheater you are. Up in heaven, you enjoy a nice cup of awesome with God Chuck Norris.

Note:
If you were religiously offended by this choose your own adventure, despite having read the disclaimer, go here.
(you should really click the link anyways)
Last edited by Camoninja on Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
N.W.A.R.S.
User avatar
Camoninja
Double Invisible
Doctor
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:06 am
Location: Somewhere in the between
Gender: Guy

Re: Writers' Café

Postby mikekearn » Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:58 pm

Note to self: if I ever die and go to Hell, I can apparently just cheat my way out, by skipping to #17.
"I will not succumb to temptation, unless she's cute."

Spoiler:
Visit the orphateria.
I make these: Image
User avatar
mikekearn
*bamf*
Batman
 
Posts: 6422
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:43 pm
Location: El Cajon, CA, USA
Gender: Gentleman

Re: Writers' Café

Postby Camoninja » Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:51 pm

Hey, don't spoil it!
But yeah, this was written at like, two in the morning, so don't blame me for anything that won't make sense. Blame my sleep patterns
Image
N.W.A.R.S.
User avatar
Camoninja
Double Invisible
Doctor
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:06 am
Location: Somewhere in the between
Gender: Guy

Re: Writers' Café

Postby RACHE » Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:21 pm

So. Whats the deal with the Cafe?

I mean hows it supposed to work?
Neither rhyme nor reason will make us think the same.
You tell me I'm half crazy,
Well you're insane.
User avatar
RACHE
Neptune! God of the Sea
Doctor
 
Posts: 4965
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:58 pm
Location: Canada... in the future.
Gender: Cigar (take that, Freud)

Re: Writers' Café

Postby Camoninja » Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:41 pm

Yeah, it would probably be a good idea to copy over the original post from the old writing topic, so new people don't get confused, Jenny. That's what I did with the hugs topic
Image
N.W.A.R.S.
User avatar
Camoninja
Double Invisible
Doctor
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:06 am
Location: Somewhere in the between
Gender: Guy

Re: Writers' Café

Postby mikekearn » Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:28 pm

Dr McLegendary wrote:Welcome to the Writers' Café! Take a seat, take a seat. Please don't mind Mr Byron, he can be something of a character but he never stays for long.
Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, something a bit stronger? Thank you, I'll bring it over shortly. May I offer you a slice of prose to go with that?

Based on the fact that we have a few writers in here, and since there's already a Doodlin' thread, I thought it might be nice to have somewhere we could all gather. Post your stories, deviant-art profiles or helpful links below :)

I have a short story I'm working on for a competition which I'll post when it's done, but for now I'll leave it to someone else to start the ball rolling.

Straight from the old forum. Except Dr Mclegendary is now Owen.
"I will not succumb to temptation, unless she's cute."

Spoiler:
Visit the orphateria.
I make these: Image
User avatar
mikekearn
*bamf*
Batman
 
Posts: 6422
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:43 pm
Location: El Cajon, CA, USA
Gender: Gentleman

Re: Writers' Café

Postby starseedjenny » Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:57 pm

Sorry, sorry, my bad. Fixed.
G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


N.W.A.R.S
User avatar
starseedjenny
Cyberdyne Systems Terminator, Model T-N014.
Batman
 
Posts: 6221
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:10 pm
Location: I'm the girl who's kicking the Coke machine
Gender: Dame

Re: Writers' Café

Postby katschy » Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:37 pm

But you shouldn't have fixed it, since at the time of the original post, he was going by Dr. McLegendary. Correct attributions, baby! :P (see? Library geek. I think nerdly guys in glasses are hot).
User avatar
katschy
Red Cross Vampire
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:48 pm
Location: The Great White North Eh
Gender: Guy

Re: Writers' Café

Postby starseedjenny » Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:44 pm

I thought about that, but since we're reposting the beginning for the sake of new people anyway, why not simplify?
G: Like helplessness experiments. That's the biggest problem in zombie apocalypses. People who survive will always eventually come to question why they bother.
Seamus: The biggest problem in zombie apocalypses is poor planning and not enough ammo.


N.W.A.R.S
User avatar
starseedjenny
Cyberdyne Systems Terminator, Model T-N014.
Batman
 
Posts: 6221
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:10 pm
Location: I'm the girl who's kicking the Coke machine
Gender: Dame

Next

Return to The Forums of Dr McSerious Face

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron